Don't test me, Vicki

You guys are TOO MUCH. I realized there was a great public outcry when I took an unscheduled leave from my blogging duties. I knew there were tears and waves of depression and much melancholy sweeping through the nation. But I didn't realize it went this far. I couldn't have fathomed that it would surpass this world and reached all the way to.....Spice World.

I don't know how you managed it, but bravo. Somehow word of my departure reached Victoria Beckham, who decided to take measures so drastic that I would be unable to resist commenting on a cyber forum. Homegirl threw down the gauntlet. And it's a real shame she did, because clearly Ms. Beckham could have used that gauntlet (or, I don't know, A SHIRT) to cover herself when she went out in public today:

Seriously. This woman is a MOTHER. And here she is looking like some kind of PATRIOTIC DOMINATRIX. I mean, am I way off-base here? I don't understand dressing like Catwoman to go about your daily activities. And just look at her here; everyone else is smiling and, I don't know, human-like and she's on some kind of Parisian runway in her mind. She's just "that girl". The kind who tells her friends that she's just wearing jeans and a T-shirt to the bar tonight and convinces them to do the same, then shows up in a g-string and pasties.

I'm going to go ahead and blame this fashion faux-whatthemotherlovingcrap on "I Wear A Union Jack As A Minidress Spice"*. Obviously Posh took this move to mean that any old thing lying around the house is appropriate for covering (or not) one's assets, or else she wouldn't be half-wearing a coaster.

*I know her real name, but I won't ever use it in this blog. Why, you ask? She named her kid Bluebell Madonna. Someone has to stand up for the wronged children of the world.

"AccuQuote: we're in the life insurance business, not the 'asking ourselves if this is appropriate given the date' business!"

I really can't fault AccuQuote for this ad that popped up on the right side of CNN.com a mere minute ago. Clearly market research has shown that nothing says "Happy Father's Day weekend!" like taking a moment to acknowledge the very real possibility that your old man could go at any time:

Oh, I don't know WHAT would happen, little Susie...except that you and Mommy would be ROLLING IN IT thanks to that sweet-ass life-insurance plan you bought Daddy for Father's Day!