Sunday, October 19, 2008

"Colin Powell Endorses Barack Obama"


Aaaaaaaaand scene. I think it's fitting that Mr. Powell put the final nail in the McCain/Palin Coffin of Suck, as he is really the only one tainted by the Bush administration's reign of terror that I actually felt bad for.


Also, "Saturday Night Live"? Awkward as all hell, no? Let's see why:

-Unlike other appearances of political figures (Janet Reno, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, etc.), the fine thespians of SNL have made it no secret, onscreen and off, that they HATE Palin. They hate her. Tina Fey said she would leave the planet if McCain/Palin won. So to have to share the stage with her and interact like the traditional format has always been for these kinds of cameos would have been impossible. So she wasn't let in on the joke. She just kind of sat around while she was the joke. And that was weird. It also shows me how out of touch she is with the average American. While "Joe Six-Pack" or whoever might hunt and enjoy it, I don't think he'd find the act of killing moose or other animals funny. The fact that she'd sit there bopping along (confirming EVERY SINGLE STEREOTYPE about white people and rhythm, or lack thereof) while Amy Poehler rapped and shot a fake moose was absurd to me. SHE DOES NOT GET IT.

-Also, she wore black, knee-high hooker boots. With bare legs. What the hell are you doing, Palin.

-ALSO, SNL: WHEN YOU ARE HAVING THE KINDS OF RATINGS THAT YOU HAVE NEVER HAD IN HISTORY AND YOU'RE GUARANTEED ANOTHER HUUUUUGE AUDIENCE THIS WEEK, WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T YOU TRY TO, I DON'T KNOW, BE FUNNY!?? TO GET THESE PEOPLE TO STICK AROUND?! WHY WOULD YOU INCLUDE A SKETCH WITH GROWN MEN CALLING EACH OTHER "MR. FARTFACE", OR THAT HORRIFIC ONE AT THE END WITH THE FALL FOLIAGE?! WHY?! DO YOU NOT LIKE TO BE FUNNY?! SERIOUSLY!?!? I WANT AN ANSWER!!!!!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Don't come around, I've got my own hell to raise

I suppose this is a bad time for me to rediscover my intense, burning, passionate OMG EMO (before there was such a vague yet hilarious concept) love of Fiona Apple's Tidal. Considering I have 493030 things to do and none of them entail me reverting back to 1997 Jenn and lying on my bed with my big black Doc Martens resting on my violet-colored walls next to the pictures of Jakob Dylan and Maxwell while listening wistfully to Ms. Apple. But seriously, the album is a masterpiece and if you disagree, I will cut you (did you not read where I told you that I used to wear Doc Martens?! AM SERIOUS BADASS AT HEART).

What happened to her, besides that crazy awards show breakdown (I forget and am entirely too lazy to verify which one, but I want to say VMA's or something of the like)? I loved her. She was like Tori Amos but with intelligent lyrics (oh that's right, I said it-bring it Amos fans, I'm not afraid of you or your orange-haired demigod). I mean, honestly, I defy you to listen to Never is a Promise and then find me a song that is so achingly beautiful.

Also, remember Maxwell?