1. Why is the yogurt section at the college mall Kroger always completely and totally dessimated? Every single time i go there, it looks like there was some crazy raid on the yoplait, with stuff spilled on the floor and only like 2 things of yogurt left on the shelf. I don't get it. They are very well stocked on pretty much everything else. Lord knows they have enough boxed wine and random sets of utensils. Where is all of the Kroger yogurt?
2. And speaking of Kroger....why do they keep the condoms locked away there? I just noticed this today. It's probably because people steal them, but...is that really a bad thing? If you are the kind of person who shoplifts from Kroger, then I probably don't want you procreating. But it makes Bloomington look totally ass-backwards, like that small, sad little town in F"ootloose".
3. And speaking of contraceptives....why is Viagra covered by most health insurance plans, but birth control pills for women are not? This angers me. to. no. end. Women now need the pill more than ever because we are surrounded by these creepy old men with constant erections. How is the issue of unwanted pregnancy and the whole abortion debate less important than 80 year old men who can't get it up (MAYBE IT IS NATURE TELLING YOU THAT WHEN YOU ARE 95 YEARS OLD YOU SHOULD NOT BE MAKING BABIES). If men could get pregnant? THIS WOULD BE A NON-ISSUE. They would be mailing you the free birth control pills, and the condoms in Kroger would come free with every purchase.
4. And speaking of erectile disfunction...why is the parking lot of Blockbuster in B-town like the most complicated, ridiculous parking lot of all time in history (this has nothing to do with erections...but why are you so in to them anyway, you giant perv?). Seriously. One wrong turn, and your car is basically stuck there for all of eternity.
We were talking about some song from "A Hard Day's Night" in my Beatles class and Gass mentioned that Ringo was playing the cowbell. People were laughing every single time he mentioned the word "cowbell", which I thought was fabulous, because we all know how I feel about Will Ferell. But I think Gass was a little confused.
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3 comments:
OH MY GOD, well, you thought right!!! I WOULD love to know about such an opportunity!!AND I LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN TOO!!!!!!!! wanna make babies!??!?! combined we could have 1600 a month in extra income!!!!
i love the blogger spam. i shall personally comment on every single post made.
wanna bang? I stole some condoms from Kroger.
eh, sure, why not, i'm up for it...but can you drive? i mean we need some way to get back to 8th grade when people said "banging".
i.l.y.dan.
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