I'm just a Bill, yes I'm only a Bill...

"I am not going to let oppressive, totalitarian, anti-Christian forces in this country diminish and denigrate the holiday and the celebration. I am not going to let it happen. I'm gonna use all the power that I have on radio and television to bring horror into the world of people who are trying to do that."
--Bill O'Reilly

Oh, Bill. Oooooooooooooh Bill.

I'm not sure about what to say here, really...normally I don't put much stock into the words of a Crazy. I just let them do their thing, let them insulate their houses with tin-foil to deter alien/government forces from stealing their thoughts. But this...is too wonderful to pass up. I waited a full 24 hours before writing this, but now I see that it did no good; my blood pressure is still at epic levels and I'm fairly certain that my chai latte won't be to blame for the foam that is about to start forming on my mouth.

O'Dumbass' comments are not the most anti-Everyonewhoisn'tchristian that I read yesterday which is a real treasure in itself. Hopefully everyone read the MSNBC article, but if you didn't, you can find it here. Read it. I'll wait.

Ready? Let's do this.

Ok, so the most amazing thing about this article is not that people like this exist and are allowed to live in my country, but that I actually agreed with a move made by George Bush which is just mindblowing. They are mad because the WHITE HOUSE holiday card doesn't mention Christmas. So, Laura and George Bush are Christians. And if they want to send out personal cards to their friends and family with pictures of Mary and Joseph and the whole manger crowd, that's fine. But when it's the President and First Lady, let's not violate the Constitution. They also have their tinsel in a twist because people are saying "Happy Holidays" and not "Merry Christmas". Now, ok, 1.) there are multiple holidays, kids. Even if you are talking to someone Christian, there is also New Years a mere 5 days away. Happy Holidays is not excluding Christmas, it's INLCUDING New Years you idiots. Also, the idea that someone working at a store who might not even be Christian HAS to wish you a Merry Christmas is so insulting and self-righteous it makes me sick. I wouldn't go up to a random co-worker and wish them a Happy Channukah. And I'm sorry to say and I mean no offense to anyone, but wishing a non-Christian person a Merry Christmas is worse than wishing a gentile person Happy Channukah, basically because of the history that Christianity has with trying to convert people, sometimes violently and forcefully. I understand that part of Christianity has to do with converting and "witnessing" to people, and ok, it is what it is, I may not like it, but it's a fact, just as how upset and hurtful it is to people is a fact as well.

Some bitchin quotes from the article:

"Bush "claims to be a born-again, evangelical Christian. But he sure doesn't act like one," said Joseph Farah, editor of the conservative Web site WorldNetDaily.com. "I threw out my White House card as soon as I got it."

Let's follow Mr. Farah's line of thinking (it's going to be hard, as not many of us are well-versed in lunatic). Basically, he wants his political figures to act not with United States laws, but according to their own religious doctrine. OK, crazy enough, but we all have our opinions, it's just the way he thinks society should be, right? Except here's the problem with people like him, like most religious radicals: hypocrisy. I may be wrong here, but I highly doubt that if our president was Buddhist, Farah would be criticizing him for not promoting meditation (something far less dangerous than insisting that everyone accept Jesus into their life, when you think about it). No, he wants this to be a Christian country. If he was upset with Bush for not upholding his religious beliefs in a strictly religious sense (i.e., Bush is cutting out of church services and smoking in the bathroom, or whatever) no problem. Actually wanting the president to promote his religion through his political office? You're a joke.

And, my personal favorite:

"Ninety-six percent of Americans celebrate Christmas," Donohue said. "Spare me the diversity lecture."

Oh, classy. CLASSY. You know what though? Even if the Jews in this country amount to only like .000003 percent of the population, YOUR RELIGION WOULDN'T BE HERE WITHOUT MINE. Jesus was Jewish, you...must not curse. Ok. The Muslim and Christian faiths derived from mine. And the Muslims were here before you! This is what I've never understood about anti-semitism; if you hate us so much then GIVE US BACK OUR BOOK!! It's bad enough that you call it the "Old" Testament. If we don't even count, if we are such a minor, insignificant afterthought for people like Donohue, then they don't get to take what they want from our religion anymore. We're taking back the 10 Commandments, Noah, Jonah, Moses, everyone. Also, we'll be needing Genesis back too, so you can make up your own creation story. Might I suggest something like "And then God vomited and out came Ann Coulter. And it wasn't good, but thankfully we don't have to look at her busted face, as we haven't gotten around to the light thing. "

Here's another thing; I don't understand people who get so vehemently opposed to being politically correct. If something offends someone because of their ethnic, religious, or sexual beliefs, just don't effing do it, man. I'm a girl from Washington, and I'm all about the Redskins. But if a Native American group is insulted because they view it as a racial slur? CHANGE THE MOTHERLOVING NAME. It does not affect me! We can still have a totally over-hyped football team. But if it bothers someone else on such a personal level, then make the change.

One of my favorite things ever in this life is when Christians act persecuted. Because, what?!?! WHAT?!?! You're not. Not now, not really ever actually. If you think this way, you must clearly also agree with the KKK when they say how difficult it is to be a white man in America today. Give me a BREAK. Why do people actively seek out ways to be victimized? We love it these days. If you are in the majority, good for you, you've got it easy, now make it your business not to make life harder for everyone else.

If Christians felt for one second what it was like to really feel alienated, to actually feel in DANGER because of their religion, they would never make these ludicrous claims or insist on something so miniscule and pointless. Not only do I find the fact that they are actually making a big deal about this so pathetic, I'm insulted. When I was a kid, the JCC was defaced with swastikas, and when the community rallied and held a Channukah celebration a few weeks later, it was interrupted with a bomb threat. I was ashamed of myself for years when I sat in silence as a high-school classmate who wasn't aware of my religion told a "joke" about the Holocaust. The second day of my college life a girl who lived across the hall from me came back to the dorms and told us she left a party because there were "too many damn Jews". I've sat through countless "wow, you don't look Jewish!" remarks as the speaker tried not too look at my nose in wonderment. And I consider myself lucky; someone actually set fire to the mosque in Bloomington. As a kid my father and his brothers were mercilessly beaten because they were the only Jewish family in their upstate New York town. If you're seriously angered that the Wal-Mart checker didn't wish you a Merry Christmas? It's good to be you, and your life is way to easy.

Some lady from Ohio was on CNN talking about the whole campaign, and she threw around some great sound-bites, such as "people are sick of not being allowed to celebrate Christmas" "declare Jesus as the center of the season", and "put Christ back in Christmas"

If you truly believe that anyone other than Christians are responsible for their holiday not being Jesus-centric anymore, you are clearly delusional, and maybe that tin foil is wrapped too tightly around your head. I applaud Christians saying that they want the focus back on the religious aspect of it! Because this means no more stupid claymation Rudolph and Frosty! And I won't have to see red and green everywhere I go! And no more fat men with white beards!! Right?!?! WRONG. It's crap, and I don't believe for a second that these people want to give up all of that.

Here's the thing that makes me so frustrated, and ALWAYS has. Christians never, ever, EVER have to choose between their religious and secular lives. Schools and offices are CLOSED for their holiday. It's mind-blowing to me, and it must be nice, something that myself, other Jews, Muslims, and everyone else in this country will probably never experience. The kicker? Religiously, they don't even need it. We are prohibited to work on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, yet little 8 year old Jenn had to worry about what her teachers thought when she missed days during the second week of the new school year. Religious freedom in this country often feels like it's ONLY for the Christians a lot of the time; don't complain about wanting everyone else to celebrate your holiday. Enjoy how easy it is for you to do it yourself.

Back to Bill, I don't know what to say really, except "LOOFAH! LOOFAH!LOOFAH!" He's a total joke, but I feel like we have to take him seriously, because this kind of dillusional behavior from such a morally corrupt person who SEES NO HYPOCRISY in his actions is scary. Plus the radical Christian who vowed to vows to bring "horror into the world" of people who don't share his religious beliefs? Eh, it's a little too Hitler-esque for my personal taste.