There's beauty in the breakdown. And also, all the good drugs

Only one of the following three statements are true:
Today I...
1. Woke up bright and early, ready to greet the day!
2. Studied for impending finals
3. Ordered the Beatles Anthology DVD's at 4am when I couldn't sleep and Dan stopped returning my e-mails and was therefore left friendless in cyber space, hence the money spending at dawn was not entirely my fault.

If you get this right, you win...the opportunity to save me from myself.

Now, I'm not a mental health professional (except, don't tell that to my clients, I need rent money). But I'd venture to say that the fact that I almost killed a total stranger sitting next to me in a computer lab just because he was breathing SO SO SO SO LOUDLY through his nose is a good indicator that I need a break from school, ASAP. I had the nerve to turn and glare at him. Like, what would I have said if he looked at me?!?! Yell at him for breathing?! I need to hire someone whose sole job is to walk around with me all day and just tell me to breathe, count to ten, and calm down. Kind of like a daycare worker.

Ok, normally I avoid "Punk'd" at all cost, because it makes me feel uncomfortable-I hate the fighting and the weird feelings, etc. But as I'm writing this, Ellen Pompeo is slooooooowly killing her career. I don't know what she did to Ashton to make him not edit this segment more to her favor. But dear GOD this is terrible. And I love"Grey's Anatomy" with all my soul (Grey? Gray? I know it's a play on the book title, so one is Gray, the other is Grey, but I always forget which is which since that show started. In the time it took for me to write this, I could have visited IMDB, but, no, for you I expose the delicate process that a writer undergoes for her craft). My third favorite George is on it(the first one clearly being the one who fathered me. If you don't know the second, please refer to..oh, I don't know, every single other post in the history of this blog)! But good lord Pompeo-first of all, you look totally busted (I'm afraid she's going to reach up, snap off her own clavicle, and cut that waitress with it). Seriously, I feel like if she gained just like 5 pounds, she'd look 10 years younger. Right now there are veins and stabby bones, and it just squicks me out. And her accent is insane. And apparently she is very, very mean. Clearly she needs to book some time in the break room with Dr. McDreamy. Stat.

OK, change of channel. "Great Balls of Fire" is on CMT. I've avoided this movie for a couple of years, ever since I heard some rather unseemly outtakes of Jerry Lee Lewis saying some rather raunchy things during a recording session that Gass played in my History of Rock, pt. 1 class sophomore year. But the movie is...not so terrible. Only Dennis Quaid can make marrying your 13 year old cousin seem oh so right.