Where Can I Buy Desperation Barbie?

ABC really knows what women want. We like our men vacant, manicured/groomed within an inch of their lives, and made of wax. So they're giving us Brad:

Bradley is the newest victim of "The Bachelor", ABC's hit reality program where women give up their careers, dignity, and self-respect in order to prostitute themselves for a plastic rose from an equally plastic man who is also DATING/MAKING OUT WITH ALL 15 OF THEIR ROOMMATES. God bless America.

Homeboy looks like a Ken doll. I'm not entirely sure what bothers me the most about him-is it the dead eyes? Or the fact that it looks like the hair in his beard/sleaze-stache was placed onto his wax skin one by one by a pair of tweezers?

He's also a total natural. Nothing awkward or forced about this gem!