Captain Jackass Rides Again

Seriously, someone explain David Blaine to me. Is he a magician? An illusionist? A middle child who didn't get enough love and or attention? Why does he insist on doing these ridiculous "stunts" that are just barely weird enough to be noticeable, but not magical enough to make anyone really care?

I mean, I get it. You held your breath for a million hours. Impressive, I guess. I think my issue is that these little feats of ridiculousness aren't at all entertaining to watch. It's not like when David Copperfield used to chain himself to a burning safe in a building filled with poisonous rabid snakes and strap a bomb to his face, then explode the building and wind up escaped and unscathed in the middle of a desert with the wind flowing through his hair and billowy white shirt (opened to the navel, natch).

And if I'm being totally honest, I think his face has something to do with why I dislike him so much. The eyelids, to be exact. He's a heavy-lidded fellow. And it just gives me the impression that he walks around all day saying things (in a monotone voice) like "oh, it's soooooo hard being me. I have to live in fish-bowls and hold my breath and put myself in a box and live there without food for a long time." He just looks so put upon all of the time.

Whatevs. My new theory is that he's an attention whore who's just jealous of Miley.

The Grown-Up, Cyber Equivalent Of Hanging A Picture From "Teen Beat" In My Locker:

*sigh*

Obama and the IU insignia in the same picture....my heart, it bursts.

I'm dying over here

There's no reason why this promo picture of Kim Catrall and Daniel Radcliffe for a TV movie called "My Boy Jack" should have made me laugh as hard as I just did. Oh wait, it's probably because he should never be anything but a child wizard with unfortunate eye-wear (he's rocking that here, thank God) and she should never be anything other than an over-sexed man-eater with an unbelievably affected accent, or a mannequin. And yet, here they are, modeling the latest in turn-of-the-century drab-wear. And I don't know if he's her son, husband, or twin. What I do know is that it's solid gold and it's made my day.

'Cause we were barely 17, and we were barely dressed

Remember when I just saw a commercial for AT&T "Go Phones" featuring Meatloaf singing his song "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" with a kid that's supposed to be his son? The very song that's about a teenage boy trying to coerce a teenage girl to sleep with him in a car? This is why media studies is important; were I a consultant to AT&T, I would tell them that this was a batshit crazy and tasteless move. These are academic terms. Yes.

Ohmigod!

Friends. Listen to this. So, earlier in the week I made the decision that hey! I love television and movies but what I really love is music! Popular music, to be exact! So why not bite the bullet and decide to do my thesis on popular music! So I did! And I feel great about it! And the Pop Music Gods shed their catchy, albeit slightly contrived, blessings upon me and bestowed not one but two gifts in the form of favorite musicians of my past returning and releasing new music and insane and slightly inappropriate promo pics!

GIFT #1:
Alanis! I adored Ms. Morissette from the first time I saw her on MTV, shaking her abundance of brown hair and feminine angst in the desert for the "You Oughta Know" video. It was scary and exciting and 12 year-old Jenn was all "Yeah! Right on, sister!" even though she had barely kissed a boy at this point, let alone had one stomp on her heart so hard that it inspired one of the greatest woman-scorned ballads of all time. I was slightly disappointed upon learning that Dave Collier and his mullet inspired that scorn (dude had a MULLET and played second fiddle to BOB SAGET for Christ's sake), plus I didn't want to think of him having terrible inappropriately things done to him in a theater, but STILL. Love for Alanis.

ALTHOUGH... something's not quite right with that picture. Maybe it's the terribly calculated faux bedroom hair, or the last night's eye-liner look, or the cleavage, or the see-through shirt. Something is telling me that she's trying, albeit very, very subtly, to look sexy. I just can't put my finger on it.

There's a slight chance it's the fact that we all now know the intricacies of her upper, UPPER thigh muscles. Who's to say.*

GIFT #2Yes. That is all.

Except also! Danny was my favorite and clearly the cutest, I am pleased to say I stand by the assessment I made as a 6 year old.

Good lord.


PS: If you must leave my blog for whatever reason (like, say, the awesomeness becomes too much to handle, or you find my intense dislike for scented razors off-putting) ,then I invite you to check out the blogs of my friends Val and Melissa, two fellow Media Studiers who are truly delightful.


*Um, I'm still totally buying her new CD "Flavors of Entanglement", whatever the hell that means, when it comes out. I'm willing to overlook the over-share.