10. Poor Jaclyn Smith standing between Crazy Angel #1 and Crazy Angel #2, trying to give a serious and thoughtful tribute to Aaron Spelling. If you Tivo-ed, PLEASE go back and just watch Kate get distracted and stare off to the right side of the stage and the ceiling, and Farrah twirl her hair and act generally insane (her face looks SO MUCH BETTER, though, so props to that surgeon). But can we also talk about how Jaclyn Smith seriously looks about 30 years old? It's ridiculous, I think she looks younger than me.
9. Cloris Leachman shaking her breasts while some poor guy tries to give an acceptance speech and my brother almost vomits on the floor.
8. Helen Mirren (who looked so, so good!) saying that she was thankful she didn't fall "ass over tits". She can try to pass that off as a charming British saying, but I lived in London for 5 months and everyone I met would probably sooner die than say that in private, let alone on a stage in front of the world. Honestly, what was with all the old women trying to make us notice/discuss/look at their breasts (what was with the breasts in general? Virginia Madsen, that was a bit much, honey).
7. The intro with the plane crash that NBC didn't cut/modify to eliminate the part with the plane actually going down less than 24 hours after 49 people died in a plane crash in Kentucky
6. Paula Abdul, showing up on the red carpet clearly under the influence of alcohol or pain-killers or horse tranquilizers, complete with a JEWELED LIZARD/AMPHIBIAN OF SOME KIND shoved into her tacky hair extensions and a portable mini fan that she tried to use on Billy Bush during one of the most awkward moments of all time.
5. Allison Janney, a grown-ass woman, showing up to the Emmy's in a flapper costume.
4. Ryan Seacrest calling Suri Cruise "it".
3. Leah Remini's reaction to Ryan Seacrest calling Suri Cruise "it".
2. Barry "I'm Having Hip Surgery Tommorow And Yet I Insist On Swiveling My Body Around, Making Everyone Uncomfortable" Manilow beating Stephen Colbert. Seriously...what?
And the number one moment of the night, which didn't even happen on tv:
1. The following exchange:
Me (as Barry Manilow accepts his award): I can't believe he beat Stephen Colbert
My sister, Lizz: I can't believe that's a man!
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3 comments:
Thank you for making one of the most boring award shows ever sound exciting. Even though, I watched it and it was not nearly as good as your blog makes it out to have been.
But did you see Kelly from The Office's dress fall down while they were accepting their awards?!?! what was with all the boobage this year!!!
Hey, remember how I almost drowned in Victoria Madsen's boobs and almost vomited a little in my mouth afterwards?
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