Things That Are Stupid, Part 1

I went to the Dreaded New Wing At Tysons That I Refuse To Go To On Principle Because When I Was 14 I Had To Hang Out At Springfield Mall And Risk Being Stuck In The Middle Of A Gang War While These Stupid Spoiled Kids Today Have A Fancy Mall. I went to Old Navy, because I am fancy that way. When I went to pay for my merchandise, I noticed something stupid; next to every register was a two liter bottle of Pepsi with a handwritten sign on it saying something like "If we don't ask you to sign-up for an Old Navy card, this Pepsi is YOURS!"

This is stupid for 3 reasons:
1. I don't believe this is some kind of Old Navy corporate move; it looked more like some overzealous jackass manager wanted to humiliate his employees. There was a handwritten note scotch-taped to a bottle of soda, guys.
2. Who the hell wants to carry around a two-liter bottle of soda when they are shopping in the mall? I avoid carrying around too much make-up in my purse when I'm shopping, why would I want to carry a gigantic bottle of soda with me? That seems more like a punishment than a prize.
3. Who is really motivated by Pepsi anyway? It's a poor man's Coke, let's be honest. Throw some of this in, however, and we can work something out.


I also wanted to let you all know about my trip to the new Victoria's Secret-you know, the one that looks like a brothel and features practically nude mannequins posing on all fours- and how I had to buy a bra from a BOY that could not be more than 16, and I am dead serious. He smiled at me and gave me the creeps. First of all, I hate buying lingerie from men. But I think the bigger issue here is the fact that I feel pretty strongly that someone who can't buy a ticket to an R-rated movie shouldn't know my bra size.