Mom: Jenn, you look really short driving this car!
Me: Uh, ok, please do not talk to me while I am driving, the chances of me wrecking this thing before my first payment is due is high enough already
Mom: Weird! I guess it's because maybe all of your height is in your legs or something.
My dad: Well, that would be the case with most humans.
Mom: That's not true, I have seen some people with very long torsoes.
Me: I can't believe I have a new car!
Dad: Well, think about it; if most people's height wasn't in their legs, how would they procreate?
Me: Oh sweet Jesus
Mom: What do you mean?
Dad: Well, if people had torsoes that varied greatly in length, how would they be able to-
Me: STOP! We are NOT having this conversation on New Car Day!!!!
Be advised, if you are lucky enough to sit in The New Car, I reserve the right to censor what you say.
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