I don't know what a Tillerman is

It's that time again! The time where I quit cohesive writing and turn to my best friend, Mr. Bulleted Notes to tell you some important things!

• I've been watching season 2 of the show Extras on my computer (it's that British show with Ricky Gervais-please, please watch season 1, it's on HBO and, like, ludicrously funny. I recommend the episode with Samuel L. Jackson, I've found that anyone who doesn't like it has only seen the first episode with Kate Winslet, and it's not the best) and the end credits roll to the song "Tea for the Tillerman" by Cat Stevens. I am a big, big Cat Stevens fan, but it's not really one you want to be singing non-stop for like 34 hours straight, because seriously there are like 13 words in the entire song and I have no clue what they mean. If you haven't seen the show, SEE IT. I don't think I have ever ever ever laughed out loud while watching something alone until today, when I almost fell out of bed and choked on a cookie (hey, guess what, when you are a grown-up, you can eat cookies anywhere you want. That's kind of the best part of it.)
  
• I have no clue what I ever did to Donald Trump, but I can't imagine it warranted the 1.5 hours of screaming he did to me from my television during tonight's Apprentice premiere. Seriously, is it some kind of inner ear situation? Maybe some hair overgrowth? Why must he yell all of the time? And why did I laugh so hard when he told his BABY over the phone during a totally non-scripted moment to "take care of yourself", when that is exactly what babies can not do and maybe if he wasn't so busy schmaltzing up and tacky-fying all of Manhattan he might know this?
  
  
• Ok, and speaking of The Apprentice, can we please talk about the candidates, especially the women? Because they are truly amazing. My favorite is clearly Jenn:
  

Ok, but I need to tell you WHY I love her. As if her picture doesn't scream "VAPID!!!!!" enough, the official website has given all of candidates nicknames that don't really mean anything, like "The Dreamer", "The Leader", "The Olympian" (YES there's an Olympian and it's so random and she is built like a wall and apparently didn't learn not to wear white shoes with a black suit ever in life and yes it was awesome but I don't have time for it now!). Jenn's nickname? THE BLONDE! HAHA I know! But the best part is that there are like four other blonde women, so you know it's not meant in the "the token blonde chick" way, but in the "blondes are ditzy and stupid way" which normally I would hate but here I just love it because DONALD TRUMP YOU ARE RIDICULOUS! Oh, and allow me to introduce Stefani

aka, "The Realist". Not only does she look exactly like Melania Trump, but nothing says real and practical to me like fake tips, a carved up nose, and lips injected with poisonous toxins. Aimee is "The Thinker"
and since I can't decide whether to go with "apparently she didn't think to get some toner for that brassy dye job" or Hilarious Quip #2: "First there was Socrates, then there was Aristotle, now here comes Aimee", I'll put them both out there for you to choose between.

But hands down, let's hear it for Surya

whom NBC has dubbed "The Hair".









Really, Surya?

I think we ALL know who "The Hair" is in this operation.