Who's Your Danny?

Dear employees of the mini Starbucks inside of the Safeway on 50,
I appreciate how complicated and stressful your job is, I honestly do. One of the reasons I have avoided any kind of job involving a cash register is because it gives me hives just thinking about having to operate those things. Add to the that the fact that you have to take specialized orders and deal with people like the lady in front of me today who ordered a "latte with no foam" without your head exploding and it's pretty evident that your job is harder than most. And I'm also cognizant of the fact that you have no way of knowing that by the time I stop by your store at 9:30, I have already been WORKING for two and a half hours and awake for three and a half. HOWEVER, maybe, if it's not too much to ask, can you please not put the new guy on the morning shift? As he told me while wiping the sweat off his brow and holding back tears, this is only his second day on the job. There are only two of you working there anyway. Thanks so much.




-Jenn




PS- "No whip" is a fancy way of saying "no whipped cream". And "venti" is your largest size of beverage. Don't worry, you'll get it eventually.



On a much brighter note, please please PLEASE tell me that you've been watching "Grease" You're The One That I Want!", the greatest television show ever made. Last night we found out that the show has given the Danny and Sandy hopefuls charming little nicknames, a la Barbie and Ken ("Malibu Barbie", "Astronaut Barbie", "Cheerleader Barbie", "Meth-Head Barbie", etc.). I think I can do better:

Name: Matt
NBC Calls Him: "Second Chance Danny", because he got voted off and then got to come back on the show (God forbid he miss out on this phenomenon)
I Call Him: "Untalented Danny". Dude can't sing, dance, act, or interact with humans. I have a crush on him.

Name: Max

NBC Calls Him: "Slacker Danny". He's got long hair, so clearly he will amount to nothing in life.

I Call Him: "Keanu Danny". He is the best, but will never win because his nose is huge and also, he's a slacker.

Name: Chad

NBC Calls Him: "Ambitious Danny". Yeah, I don't know either.

I Call Him: "Unfortunate Hairline Danny"

Name: Kevin

NBC Calls Him: "Bellhop Danny". Can you guess his profession?

I Call Him: "Bring It On Danny". I just came up with that when I looked at his promo picture, because that is so what he's saying right there. He used to be "Eyebrows Danny"

Name: Austin
NBC Calls Him: "Hot Danny" (I'll wait until your nausea subsides)
I Call Him: "Porno Danny" or "Shoulders Danny", because seriously, look at this dude. He has elephantitis of the biceps. That is not cute. But I think he will win, because who actually votes for these things? Fourteen year old girls. And his face is is pretty in a feminine, non-threatening way (also non-threatening because I am fairly certain that the women aren't the ones that this dude wants, if you catch my drift).

Name: Derek

NBC Calls Him: "Wholesome Danny", which is funny because he looks a little dirty, no?

I Call Him: "Velour Danny", after the unfortunate material that his jacket was made out of on the show last night, or "Uncle Jesse Danny", cause homeboys got a little Stamos going on.

Name: Jason
NBC Calls Him: "Boy-band Danny". I don't know what that means, but this guy is 31 and has no business hanging out with boys anyway.
I Call Him: "Boring Danny". You can tell just by his picture how ridiculously boring he is, can't you?