New favorite pick-up line, by the way. You'd be surprised how many men are into content analysis. That wasn't meant to be dirty. Not that it really sounds dirty. Now I feel like maybe I'm the dirty one here. ANYWAY-let's analyze some media!
So today I have been singing "Every Rose Has Its Thorn", by my personal favorite 80's hair band, Poison. Now, I'm not entirely sure why this particular song has worked it's way into my brain, but it has, and it refuses to un-clench it's vice-like grip over me. It might have something to do with the 76 episodes of Rock of Love that VH1 has been looping over and over and over. Who's to say. But back to my point-have you ever actually stopped to think about the rhyme scheme in that song?
"Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn"
He rhymes "thorn" with "dawn" and "song". That totally blew my mind. I can't ever think of it the same way again. Because seriously, there are A BILLION AND TWENTY word that rhyme with thorn. Here's what I would have done:
"Every rose has its thorn
Just like every can has its corn
Just like every baby is eventually born
Every rose has its thorn"
OR
"Every rose has its thorn
Just like every guy looks at porn
Just like every Swede man is named Bjorn
Every rose has its thorn"
While we're on the topic of lyrics that bother me, allow me to share my personal favorite. DISCLAIMER: Stop reading now if your favorite song is (somehow) "In The Summertime", by Mungo Jerry. I have ruined this song for many, many people by pointing out what I'm about to.
Ok, if you're still with me, let me just say that I do love this song. It's just the words that kill me:
"In the summertime when the weather's high,
you can stretch right up and touch the sky,
when the weather's fine,
you got women, you got women on your mind.
Have a drink, have a drive,go out and see what you can find.
If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal.
If her daddy's poor, just do as you feel.
Speed along the lane,
Do a ton, or a ton and twenty-five.
When the sun goes down, you can make it,make it good in a lay-by."
This song encourages:
1. Drinking and driving
2. Reckless driving
3. Using rich women
4. Possibly date-raping the poor ones.
Lovely!
I guess if you're this pretty, you don't need to bother with iambic pentameter
1 comment:
Yeah well, Brett Michaels circa 1980s was gorgeous with those pouty pouty lips, chiseled cheekbones, rock hard abs & a closet that I would well, kill for & still probably would. Though factually speaking, C.C. Deville is far far FAAAAAR more talented than Brett has ever been, plus C.C. has that great Brooklyn accent & looks like a troll doll. And seriously, even though I wanted to excommunicate himf rom my life for his putrid piece of trash VH1 show, I simply cannot. I love his insilin dependent diabetic ass.
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