They're ugly, but then again, so is your mom

Ok, Internet, let's talk about something

As early as two weeks ago, a dark force had once again settled on this campus It could be found everywhere you looked; in the secluded corners of the union to the classrooms on the highest floor of Ballentine to the media viewing room in the library.

Pure evil. In ridiculously comfortable sherpa-boot form.

Ok, I KNOW, but here's the thing; I believe that all Midwesterners should get some kind of pardon from the fashion police and be allowed to wear Uggs, regardless of the social implications. Because ya'll? IT'S COLD AS A MOTHER HERE IN THE WINTER.

I have formulated some brief talking points in order to better express my argument:
1. As forementioned, it is indeed mighty cold here. Biting, violently cold My father, who is from UPSTATE NEW YORK for christ's sake (motto: "12 inches of snow, huh....man, are we having a drought or something??? BREAK OUT THE FLIP-FLOPS, WAHOO!!!") came here once in January and almost flipped out. It really is cold as hell
2. You have to walk EVERYWHERE on this campus. Really. A lot of walking outside in the bitter cold and it's NO GOOD.
3. Bloomington's not exactly Milan. There really is no need to be all about the fashion trends. We don't run the risk of having our picture taken by some Glamour magazine "Fashion Don't" photographer.
4. Have you noticed that the people who hate Ugg boots the most seem to be men? The same men who lost their shit over Timberland boots around 1996 and all of our friends, brothers, boyfriends, rabbis, etc. thought that they ere lumberjacks? Coupled with their ridiculous flannel shirts? It was like a costume. I think there is some deeply-rooted masochistic thing going down here. These men want us out of the workplace with our ugly, yet comfortable boots and into their kitchens. Barefoot.
5. I had THE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE at a shoe store last week. I went to the college mall and decided to stop into Payless, which, as any larger footed woman know, is one of two places where you can almost always find shoes (the other being Nordstrom and, please. This is BLOOMINGTON). So I go into the store and over to the aisle with the 10/11/12's. There are a bunch of people there, but I don't really pay attention and instead start looking (everything is hideous, ps, but that's neither here nor there). That's when I notice the people in the aisle with me; 2 saleswomen and two men. Two men who were GOING AS WOMEN TO A HALLOWEEN PARTY AND NEEDED SHOES FOR THEIR BIG HUGE MASCULINE FEET. All I needed to hear was one of the saleswomen say "yeah, we've had guys in here all week, we don't have much left. You could probably try a 10" and then I proceeded to drop the size 11 shoe I was looking at and peace the hell out of there. I really almost cried. That was pretty much my nightmare situation. The real reason I like guys who are really tall? Not because I like to feel shorter. But because I won't run the risk of him BEING ABLE TO WEAR MY HEELS. Anyway, the point of this? I REFUSE TO STEP FOOT INTO A SHOE STORE AGAIN IN THE NEAR FUTURE. So it is either flip-flops, Uggs, sneakers that are slowly dying, or maybe stilletos. Which I strongly doubt will aid me in getting to class on time.