Ugly Americans

I know what you're thinking; if it's not The Beatles, it's politics. Sometimes it's my stupid classes, how I hate my crooked nose, or how life is unfair in general. But, more often than not, I don't stray from those two topics. Stick with what you know. Really, I'm giving you culture, here. I'm saying what everyone is thinking, but I'm the one risking my freedom (what what Patriot Act) by posting it on the internet (about the political stuff; Big Brother is not really going to care about how cute George Harrison was or my in-depth analysis on "I Am the Walrus"...be nice or else that really is coming next). But I have to write about our darling "President", not because I do it so very eloquently and express my opinions with grace and dignity, but because he. Is. A. Gigantic. Tool. I mean, the biggest asshole in the land. I'm not kidding. I present my journalistic evidence in the form of an article from today's Style section of the Post about the "President"'s latest trip overseas:

"For the president, it was a rare moment of fun on an otherwise dreary overseas trip. In five years in the presidency, Bush has proved a decidedly unadventurous traveler, an impression undispelled by the weeklong journey through Asia that wraps up Monday. As he barnstormed through Japan, South Korea and China, with a final stop in Mongolia still to come, Bush visited no museums, tried no restaurants, bought no souvenirs and made no effort to meet ordinary local people.
"I live in a bubble," Bush once said, explaining his anti-tourist tendencies by citing the enormous security and logistical considerations involved in arranging any sightseeing. "That's just life."
The Bush spirit trickles down to many of his top advisers, who hardly go out of their way to sample the local offerings either. A number of the most senior White House officials on the trip, perhaps seeking the comforts of their Texas homes, chose to skip the kimchi in South Korea to go to dinner at Outback Steakhouse -- twice."

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Republican party, I would like to personally thank you for electing into office the quintessential "Ugly American". You know, the ones who go to Paris and eat at Burger King and expect people in FRANCE to speak English. These are the same people who walk slowly onto the tube in London, stop right in front of the door, blocking everyone else from getting on, and start yelling to each other about how the train maps don't make sense and how stupid the money looks, neglecting to notice that everyone else on the train is totally silent. These are the people on "The Amazing Race" that everyone looks at in disgust when they say things about the people in some African country needing to "stop breeding". And yet...you have elected one of them to be. The. President.(the periods are for effect, by the way. It would be rude of me to come up to you in person, grab you by the collar, and yell it in your face, which is what I so desperately want to do).

This is why people hate Americans. Cue the other Ugly Americans to say "well we don't care about the other countries! We are AMERICA! Hell yeah, Toby Keith is even gonna sing a song about how putting out footwear inside of people is the "American Way"!! Hell yeah! Nothing bad will happen to us, we are AMERICA!! I can say with authority that we are the best and we don't need anybody and even though we are technically one of the youngest countries, we have nothing to learn from the rest of those foreign bastards NO WAY!!" To which I respond: "Have you ever heard of, I don't know, the ROMAN EMPIRE!?!?!?!??!?!?!" And then the Ugly Americans say : "ROME??!? Hell no, I went to Italy and that whole country is dirty, but I found a Pizza Hut so it was A-OK!"

Admit, for the love of all that is holy, that it is so gross that our "President" can't be bothered to experience another culture. It's so disgusting. How did this happen? How did it come to this? I'm just totally ashamed of my government.

Something totally changed for me the other day, when I watched Saturday Night Live. They opened with a sketch about Bush and how he/his administration/whoever totally lied/made a mistake/whatever about the fake weapons in Iraq. I couldn't even laugh because it's just not funny anymore. How the current administration is so arrogant that they don't think that they have to answer to us, to tell us the truth isn't funny. The amount of Americans, of soldiers who signed up either to get money for college to better their lives or because they believed they would actually get to protect their country and fight for a cause, that are being sent home to their families in body bags isn't funny. The fact that I don't know what's worse, the possiblity that our government actually lied about the information, or that the intelligence POST 9/11 was so weak that it was wrong, is not funny.

There's one thing that is a little funny though, and that's this: I am willing to bet money that Nixon's family and friends are so thrilled about all of this. Because they can finally rest assured that he won't be remembered as the worst, most corrupt President in recent history.







Now that everyone is sad and angry and depressed about this, don't you wish I had posted a nice picture of Ringo in Daisy Dukes? (don't worry, just scroll down to get your fix)