So today I was cruising along (actually, not cruising so much as racing maniacally to work, breaking speed limits and weaving through traffic like Bush after too much Southern Comfort) when the song "Right Place, Wrong Time" came on. Should this not be the theme music of my life? Not only do I have crazy bad luck, but I am often quite literally at the right place at the wrong time-my once endearing habit of getting to a destination fashionably tardy is getting less cute by the day. Plus the song is just so cool, and he says "hoo-AH" for "whore", and who doesn't love that?
I knew that I had to blog about Dr. John. I feel like he's one of those "lost" celebrities that are huge at one time but somehow get less important as the years go on (this might just be a theory that I formulated so I could reassure myself as I rock back and forth in a corner that one day The Pussycat Dolls will fade into obscurity and all will once again be right with the world). In fact, I'm willing to bet that you don't even know who he is. You might even be googling him at this very second. Don't feel bad, google away. How awesome would it be if we could somehow get him on the "top most searched for people of the day" list? The Google people wouldn't know what the hell was going on.
Needing to find something prolific to say about this guy, I checked out his wikipedia page and discovered something cool that I am willing to bet no one else has ever blogged about in the history of the Internet. Were you aware that Jim Henson modeled the main guy in the Muppet band after him? Well, he did. DON'T pretend like you don't know what the Muppet band is, you dirty liar.
I just remember the Muppet band as the welcome distraction from Miss Piggy's incessant bitching (she was annoying as all hell and really controlling, don't play). But they have this really complex backstory. They have a name-"Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem"-which is SO 70's folksy/pop, in the vein of Janis Joplin's band Big Brother and the Holding Company, Let's make Our Band's Name As Long As Physically Possible and the like. From left to right, here are the characters and who they are based on:
Dr. Teeth, lead singer and modeled after, duh, Dr. John. I don't understand his nose.
Rowlf, who the Crazy People on the internet who are obsessed with this fake puppet band claim isn't REALLY part of the band because he's a prominent character in the rest of the series and not modeled after a real musician and blahblahblah. All I know is that he's the only one without clothes, and I'm worried that he feels demeaned by this.
Animal is based on Keith Moon, something you won't truly understand until you go to YouTube and find some late 60's/pre-serious drug addiction Who footage because dude was NUTS. Like I don't know how a human can move their hands that fast. And here is a direct quote from Wikipedia to illustrate just how crazy the people on the internet who are into Muppets actually are:
"Ty Pennington commented that Animal had ADHD, when the character was appearing on an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. This fact is disputable, as the appearance can easily be considered not part of the Muppets canon".
CHRIST. As a general rule, I don't use the word "canon" when referring to talking pieces of felt, but different strokes.
Zoot is based on some sax player that I don't care enough to type about.
Sgt. Floyd Pepper. I have NO CLUE who this guy is modeled after. NO clue. Maybe the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper moustache or Beatles' Sgt. Pepper coat might contain some hint, but I can't quite decipher it.
Janice was originally supposed to be Mick Jagger-esque, but turned into Carly Simon/valley girl hybrid with a name that's an homage to Janis Joplin.
So there you go. Everything you never wanted to know about the Muppet band. Now would be the right place AND right time to find me a job where I can write about things that matter and not about puppets who play bass guitar
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