This entry is about plastic bags. No, for reals.

There's no time for the whole "and"; not only is there pressing to be done, but sealing as well!

So let me tell you about my new favorite commercial, because it is GOLD, baby. So this guy is on an airplane, right, and an announcement comes on to stow all items and put the trays upright and blah blah blah. But here's the rub: this guy has just peeled and separated an orange into segments. What will he do? WHAT WILL HE DO?!?!! Personally, I wanted him to either a.) freak out and shove the orange pieces in his mouth, all at once or b.) freak out and just slam the tray up, crushing the orange segments into the back of the seat and spraying juice everywhere (like a lot of juice-that's way more comical). BUT our hero doesn't need to do any of that! And why? Because he has packed into his tiny carry-on bag AN ENTIRE ROLL OF GLAD PRESS 'N SEAL. An entire. Roll of it.

And what does this wonder product do, you might ask? Why, by merely tearing off two pieces of this miracle wrap, you can fasten a bag, a SEAL, if you will, around your orange! Or sandwich! Or roller skates!

Question: which would be easier to carry with you at all times for all of your plastic bag related emergencies, a giant roll of paper in a cardboard box, or two small and extremely foldable, already-made plastic bags? Why do you need to fasten a pouch that is the exact right size for what you are trying to contain? Does Saran Wrap not serve that exact purpose already?! We already have those ridiculous "snack-sized" Ziploc bags, because lord knows how perilous it was when your five Cheerios were forced to sit in a bag with all that excess air. And also, how often is one in dire need of a small plastic bag? Is this something that happens often enough to necessitate one's carrying around of a giant roll of paper? I fail to see the logic here.