Remember this riveting and completely not self-indulgent post about when I dislocated my knee at 14? I'm pretty much destined to re-injure this sucker. My proof:
-6 months ago: I'm wearing flip-flops during a torrential summer down-pour and I slip in my garage on rain and motor-oil and bash my left knee, the bad one, into the concrete
-1 month ago: I am pretty much being a jackass and running around my kitchen like normal adults do, when I slip on water next to the Gigantic Puppy Beast's bowl, bashing my left knee onto the linoleum. The result was a really, really impressive bruise that was literally the size of a baseball. I even took pictures of it with the intention of posting them here but decided against it when I realized said pictures displayed way more of my leg than I comfortable with plastering all over the Internet, and that it might be weird and/or creepy to dedicate a blog entry to a giant bruise.
-2.5 weeks ago: I decide to go to synagogue for the first time in 8 billion years. While walking across the parking lot that's covered in ice, the sole of my very practical for winter black platform pump with the 4 inch stacked heels slips on said precipitation, causing my left leg to bend under me as I fall on top of it. My left knee is once again bashed, but this time on frozen pavement. I stand up and realize that the black opaque tights I was wearing are ripped at my knee, which is spurting blood and has pieces of the aforementioned parking lot lodged into it. If you're looking for a hilarious image, just imagine Jenn in the Eckard's bathroom clutching a new pair of black tights in her teeth as she changes out of the old ones and disinfects the cut and , all while perching on one still high-heeled foot flamingo style so as not to touch her bare foot (which is attached to a person with severe OCD) to the disgusting floor. Aces. I still have a giant gash in my leg that is only now starting to heal, and I've been limping for like 3 weeks now.
-Today: While playing in the "snow" with my dog, I realize too late that it's really ice. As I'm running across the lawn with a 90 pound animal hurtling after me, I slip AGAIN and LAND ON THE CURSED KNEE FOR THE 67TH TIME.
I don't know why God, nature, and/or gravity want to take the functionality of my left knee from me, but it's making me angry. And sore.
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