Hey, must be the money

Do you know what's the biggest problem with our paper one-dollar bills? They're just too damn light and portable. I've always said "if I'm going to be carrying it around in my pocket, I want it to be big, preferably visible to passers-by. It's gotta really weigh me down; I want to feel how rich I am by how difficult it is to climb a flight of stairs".

That's why I applaud the decision to re-introduce the one dollar coin into circulation. Sure, it's failed miserably three times in the past. But is it not the American way to continue to do something that's clearly not working, and to do more of it?

I guess the plan is to introduce four dollar coins per year with the faces of presidents on them. Except, oh, hey, we already have those, and they're called pennies, quarters, dimes and nickels. Whatever, Department of Treasury.

This will never work. If for no other reason than the fact that a stripper with a g-string filled with coins is just not sexy.