1. I think popcorn mixed with Junior Mints is a perfectly suitable dinner.
2. I don't believe in umbrellas (or pneumonia, apparently).
3. I take Flintstones vitamins.
4. My father does my taxes.
5. It takes everything in me not to blow my monthly car payments on trips to Target
6. It takes everything that's left not to blow my student loan payments at Target.
7. I don't own a single pair of shoes that might be deemed "sensible".
8. I spent $20 on a pilates mat after doing it twice (in my defense, I've been doing it for over a month now and love it).
9. I don't wear a watch.
10. I drive way too fast.
11. I sometimes decide that my almost waist-length hair needs deep-conditioning at weird times.
12. Like 2 am.
13. On a Wednesday night.
14. I wait until my inhaler is completely empty to refill it.
15. When I stub my toe (and it happens a lot, I have pontoon boats attached to my ankles) I curse like a sailor.
16. I spend a lot of time lying on carpets with my gigantic dog.
17. I don't own an iron (that's what a steamed-up bathroom is for, cello).
18. I cry at any movie that's remotely sad (and "Tears in Heaven" by Clapton makes me straight up lose my shit).
19. If I lose a button, I toss out the shirt.
20. Goldfish crackers are a staple in my diet (they're shaped like fish, ya'll!!)
21. I forget that there are windows in my basement. Which wouldn't be an issue were it not for my penchant for emulating Tom Cruise in Risky Business at times.
22. I ran out of checks a month ago and have yet to re-order.
23. I like to blow bubbles.
24. I look too damn young and beautiful.
Happy 24th birthday to me. How the hell was this allowed to happen?
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