The Celebrities Have Lost Their Damn Minds: A Pictorial Expose

Is it weird that I am most bothered by her sleeveless turtleneck sweater?

I'm going to pretend that they're not actually shooting right now, and instead stand by my theory that the cast of Grey's Anatomy truly believes themselves to be actual medical practitioners. Also, you know that those two on the left just hate Pompeo.

KATHERINE HOLMES, why the hell would would you run a marathon without a bra??!!? I wouldn't take the trash out without one! This is absurd! I'm having sympathy pains just imagining how uncomfortable that would be. I truly believe that gravity is going to strike back with a vengeance just because she's clearly mocking it.

Ok, so I'm all for fairness and getting what's rightfully yours and blah blah blah. But these pictures of the strike crack me the eff up. Because, people? IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS. It's not Vietnam. YOU DON'T NEED JESSE JACKSON (note: I was going to make a reference to Jackson maybe not realizing who runs Hollywood-google Jackson and anti-Semitic if you don't know about the good reverends slightly racist leanings-but I opted not to, because in this time of strife and conflict and Internet royalties, we need to band together as a nation).

Oh, Mickey Rourke. For a dude who's walking out of the police station after being charged with a DUI, you certainly are chipper, aren't you. And why wouldn't you be. You have a face that looks like a caricature version of your former self. You're wearing cowboy boots and what might possibly be a snakeskin shirt in a charmingly unapologetic manner. And you take the time to shave your chest, yet you leave that Captain Hook-looking facial hair. You are truly a delightful, alcoholic enigma.

Sigh. When I grow up, I hope I can find a husband who will take me to fancy events and present me like he's Vanna White and I'm a sparkly, drugged-out vowel. And he let her wear heels! Nicole is going to be so pissed!

Hey, it's the creepy pharmacist from Desperate Housewives! I wonder what it's like to have no friends, mirrors, or knowledge of the existence of pomade.

This doesn't really relate to the rest of this post, but seriously, I don't know which to love more-the fact that Bowie looks like he's doing a damn Vogue shoot, or the fact that he has been in upstate New York (because really, I live there now, and I can't see it).

1.)Why are you still here?
2.)Are you aware that the picture on the right looks like you're wearing eye-shadow?
3.)Is that cord REALLY going to wrap itself around your neck and drag you off what might be the worst album cover I've ever seen, or are you just a tease?